Tuesdays Rants and Raves
Expectations. Everyone has them, whether they are good or bad.
Last week all 5 children went to the eye doctor. I decided to get the eyes checked on the 4 older kids, since both G and I wear lenses. (I have had glasses since I was 7; G first got glasses in 6th grade.) We were there for nearly 2 hours, since all 4 had to go in and out. The older two had their eyes dilated, and this added some extra time onto the appointment. All in all, the kids did pretty well. None need glasses yet!
As we were preparing to pay and leave, the doctor commented on how calm the children were, and how well-behaved they were. He said something to the effect of how rowdy his own 2 are and they would never have been so good for so long. I was a little surprised, b/c I thought they were just acting normal (my kids, that is).
Later that evening G and I talked about this and we thought that maybe it has a lot to do with expectations. If you expect your child to obey you and behave in public, then chances are they will. Especially if they know there are consequences following any inappropriate behavior. Yeah, G and I don't subscribe to the "but they are just children" excuse very often. But if you have lower expectations then the child is most likely going to meet those too.
Then there is the excuse of "But he's different", or some such reasoning as to why a child is misbehaving. Granted, children who are tired don't behave very well. Understandable. But "he's a rowdy boy"? Nah. At least one of my 7 brothers must have been rowdy, but I don't recall any of them getting in trouble for misbehaving in public.
So the rant is not necessarily against misbehaving children. It's the parents who won't say no, who won't be consistent in their discipline, who won't curb the rebelliousness before it it too late. And this isn't to say I am perfect or my children are. Ha! We have had plenty of times in a grocery store when I have had to tell them: either behave and stop picking at each other, or we leave right now and you can explain why we have no food in the house.
And along those lines...
One of the books I like to read and refresh my memory with, and also pass on to new moms, is the book "Don't Make Me Count to 3," by Ginger Plowman (Thank you dear friend CH for showing this one to me long ago!) It is a wonderful book on disciplining children the first time, and not doing the countdown so they 'obey' when you lose your cool. It's not about spanking but about getting to the heart of the issue of a child's misbehavior. I love it!
Last week all 5 children went to the eye doctor. I decided to get the eyes checked on the 4 older kids, since both G and I wear lenses. (I have had glasses since I was 7; G first got glasses in 6th grade.) We were there for nearly 2 hours, since all 4 had to go in and out. The older two had their eyes dilated, and this added some extra time onto the appointment. All in all, the kids did pretty well. None need glasses yet!
As we were preparing to pay and leave, the doctor commented on how calm the children were, and how well-behaved they were. He said something to the effect of how rowdy his own 2 are and they would never have been so good for so long. I was a little surprised, b/c I thought they were just acting normal (my kids, that is).
Later that evening G and I talked about this and we thought that maybe it has a lot to do with expectations. If you expect your child to obey you and behave in public, then chances are they will. Especially if they know there are consequences following any inappropriate behavior. Yeah, G and I don't subscribe to the "but they are just children" excuse very often. But if you have lower expectations then the child is most likely going to meet those too.
Then there is the excuse of "But he's different", or some such reasoning as to why a child is misbehaving. Granted, children who are tired don't behave very well. Understandable. But "he's a rowdy boy"? Nah. At least one of my 7 brothers must have been rowdy, but I don't recall any of them getting in trouble for misbehaving in public.
So the rant is not necessarily against misbehaving children. It's the parents who won't say no, who won't be consistent in their discipline, who won't curb the rebelliousness before it it too late. And this isn't to say I am perfect or my children are. Ha! We have had plenty of times in a grocery store when I have had to tell them: either behave and stop picking at each other, or we leave right now and you can explain why we have no food in the house.
And along those lines...
One of the books I like to read and refresh my memory with, and also pass on to new moms, is the book "Don't Make Me Count to 3," by Ginger Plowman (Thank you dear friend CH for showing this one to me long ago!) It is a wonderful book on disciplining children the first time, and not doing the countdown so they 'obey' when you lose your cool. It's not about spanking but about getting to the heart of the issue of a child's misbehavior. I love it!
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