You Don't See That Every Day

I was at the store the other day and saw something that made me cringe. A little child was yelling back to his mom, telling her No , he was Not going to do what she had asked him to do. Now, I know my children are not perfect angels. Believe me, they have plenty of faults, just like we all do. But they were never allowed to tell their parents No - as in directly defying an "order". Young parents, I get it - you're tired, you don't want to fight that battle again, and so you let them get away with that behavior. But really, if you let them do it now, it's going to get worse. Letting them tell you No now destroys the respect relationship between a parent and a child. Yes, I think a child needs to respect their parents. How else do they learn about authority? When a police officer pulls them over and asks them to get out of the car, do you think it will go well with them if they tell the police officer No? Or think about their teacher in school. The teacher asks ...

Expectations. Everyone has them, whether they are good or bad. Last week all 5 children went to the eye doctor. I decided to get the eyes checked on the 4 older kids, since both G and I wear lenses. (I have had glasses since I was 7; G first got glasses in 6th grade.) We were there for nearly 2 hours, since all 4 had to go in and out. The older two had their eyes dilated, and this added some extra time onto the appointment. All in all, the kids did pretty well. None need glasses yet! As we were preparing to pay and leave, the doctor commented on how calm the children were, and how well-behaved they were. He said something to the effect of how rowdy his own 2 are and they would never have been so good for so long. I was a little surprised, b/c I thought they were just acting normal (my kids, that is). Later that evening G and I talked about this and we thought that maybe it has a lot to do with expectations. If you expect your child to obey you and behave in public, then ch...

I am having a happy dance moment right now! My son finally got it! He has it mastered! I told him to watch out for cars (riding his bicycle around the neighborhood) and he breezily, but politely, said, "Yes ma'am." It has taken 10 years of excruciating parenting to get him to say those two words as a instinctual response. I hear him say "Yes, sir" to his dad all the time now; but today it happened to me! So maybe people who live in the South might think, what's the big deal? But to our relaxed, casual Western way of living, hearing my husband's coworker say, "Yes, ma'am" in answer to anything was a thrill. Such politeness! Such respect! (Such a nice drawl!) And I guess that is what it really comes down to. The Farmer and I want our kids to show respect for us, and other adults. And this is just one of our little ways of teaching it.