You Don't See That Every Day

"I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt" "My sides hurt from laughing" "I was wiping my eyes from laughing so much"  ... just a few comments from my Friday night. And no, it wasn't because I was singing in front of people. The Mr. and I and some friends went to see a comedian - and learned the subtle difference between class clown and comedian. And it's so true. Tim Hawkins and his buddy John Branyan came to our town. Thankfully they had two shows so we were able to choose early evening, and some of my siblings went to the late show. And oh my, was it funny! If you haven't seen him, check out Tim Hawkins on YouTube. He has a cleaner sense of humor than most comedians. And we can relate to most everything he says.

Here's one my girl got out of her schoolbook. It made me laugh! What do you call a scared deep sea diver ? Um, what? Tuna . Tuna!?!? Yep - Chicken of the sea! hahahahahahahaha

My kid got a joke book for Christmas. Here's one I just had to share, it struck me as funny. Not sure if it really is funny, or if it is funny-because-it-is-11 o'clock-at-night-and-I'm-tired funny. Have you heard about the recent survey? It shows that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't Happy.

Today I was very thankful that I married the man I did. He is quite good at helping me make my way through this confusing world. Yes, I am a blond, and yes I see the world a little differently. I went into a bread outlet store in our town hoping to find some good deals. We go through a loaf a day and with prices the way they are now, I was looking for some good bread at a good deal. And I found it! These loaves I bought are usually about $2 on sale at the grocery store. I found them at the outlet for $1! I piled almost a dozen loaves in my cart - I was pretty excited to see that price; but a little voice inside said, "Why? Why are they so 'cheap'?" I couldn't see anything wrong with them. And I looked! I overheard some of the stockers talking about 09 and 10 ... so I decided to check the little tag, knowing there was expiration info on it. When I saw the 09, I thought .. well, they don't look old. I went ahead with the transaction, and brought them hom...

When I tuck my kids in to sleep at night, I often tell them, "Go to sleep. Big day tomorrow!" Well today was actually a 'big' day and I wasn't aware of it. I got a phone call from our Boy tonight. G. had just picked him up from basketball practice and they were getting something to eat before they had to head back to the gym. My son sounded pretty upset, like he was crying. And like any normal(?) mother, I started to get choked up also. Especially when he told me that they made the cuts for the basketball team today. My mind raced ahead, along with his emotional state, and I was trying to figure out how to encourage him, how to keep my own sadness out of my voice, and what do I say now? running through my brain. So I tried to find out a little bit more about what happened. And then he started laughing, and said, Mom I made the team! My brain screeched to a halt. I couldn't even think! I just hung up on him. Because he was such a skunk! Getting me all up...

This week I have to credit my husband for The Joke. As we sat around the dinner table one night telling jokes, he came up with this one: Why did the chicken cross the road? (scroll down for answer) Because it was Catholic.

What do you get when you put two kindergarteners together for a day? Lots of giggles and silly jokes. These two cousins - ages 5 and 6 - were coloring, sitting in the same chair, and telling the craziest jokes. "Where did the elephant go? To Wal*mart!" (explosion of giggles following) It did my heart good to hear. It reminded me of my own best friend/ cousin. When I was growing up my cousin from California was my best buddy. We spent weeks together during the summers. Our families camped together a lot. We wrote letters back and forth for years. due to life-events, we have lost touch. But I think about her a lot. And I hope my own girls and their cousin-buddies don't ever lose their friendship.

Here's one my son told us recently. Not sure which book he got it from ... Three blondes went to an IQ specialist to have their intelligence measured. The specialist asked the first man, "What is 3 + 3?" The man answered, "Friday." The specialist moved on to the second man and asked him, "What is 3 + 3?" The second man answered, "465." The specialist sighed and moved over to the third man, and again asked, "What is 3 + 3?" The man sat quietly for a minute and then finally answered, "6." The specialist looked shocked and said, "How did you know that?" And the third man said, "Easy, I just subtracted 465 from Friday."

The one going around our house for the past two weeks: Knock Knock . Who's there? Owls . Owls who? Yep! Owls do go hooo.

So for some reason the photos I upload from blogger are not sticking around on my blog. Is this an April fool's prank? Don't know. But I hope it gets resolved. You're missing out on these great beauties I have living with me. April Fool's Day is definitely a highlight for my son. He takes after his dad in the jokes department. Some of you related to us may have heard one, or two, or a dozen million, of his jokes. G. has played a number of practical jokes on people through the years - phone calls from "angry farmers" to his workplace is just one example. I'm betting his coworkers could provide some others. One year my dearest was eating breakfast while I showered. He had a bit of a grin on his face when I came shrieking out to him with toothpaste under my arms. Yes, he had managed to slab some on my deodorant. I suppose I have played a trick or two on him at some point in our life together, I just can't recall. I do have one up my sleeve for next ye...

Q: What do you call a sticky black bird? (scroll down for answer) A: Velcrow! bwahahahahahahahahahaha

Seen on a dirty car I was following ( I would've taken a photo, but I decided it would be best to keep both hands on the wheel ) : "WASH ME" Underneath it someone had written: "I CAN'T      IT'S MY SCIENCE PROJECT."

Two men met at a rodeo. " Call me Tex, " said one man. "Oh, are you from Texas?" asked the other. " No ," the first replied, " I'm from Louisiana ." "Then why would I call you Tex?" asked the 2nd man. " Well, I sure wouldn't want to be called Louise."

5 Then Joshua said to the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do wonders among you."  Our pastor had a sermon on the passage of Chapter 3 of the book of Joshua. Good stuff about being prepared. My favorite verse from the whole passage was verse 5. To paraphrase: Prepare yourself and God will do great things! So am I preparing? Am I getting ready? For what? What am I spending my time on? Some great books have also crossed my radar this week; one on Prayer by Philip Yancey; another on burdens called The bumps are what you climb on ; a third called Grace Based Parenting, by Tim Kimmel. I'm focusing on prayer and consistency this new year. For so long I have felt a little overwhelmed by the whole idea of prayer and how/if/why/where/when it works. I've read Stormie O'Martian's books on prayer; and What Happens When Women Pray in the past. But I am a work in progress, so I go to other books on prayer. But then a verse from my Bible study...

Here's one that has the kids laughing this week: Why should you knock before opening the refrigerator? Because you might see the salad dressing. hahahahahaha

On a very hot day this summer, as I was in the kitchen, my 9 year old says to me, "It's too hot to wear clothes. So I changed." I turned around quickly to look at her. She was wearing a swimsuit. Conversation between G and me, as he is teasing me mercilessly: "I'm going to throw this bread at you." "Would you? I'm hungry!"

The kids' latest joke: What do you do when your nose goes on strike?' Picket.

One memory I have of childhood was my dad's Polish jokes. (My mom is Polish, my dad is German.) The tradition has somehow continued in my own family, go figure. So here is the latest, (which makes me laugh). A Polish man moved to the US and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. But one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions: Have you any grounds? Yes, and acre and a half and a nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of concrete. I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? No, we have a carport and not need one. I mean, What are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland. Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. Does your wife beat you up? No,...

The joke going around our house this week, compliments of my sister: "Why does a chicken coop have only 2 doors?" "Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a sedan!"