Our Rules for Raising Kids
I was at the store the other day and saw something that made me cringe.
A little child was yelling back to his mom, telling her No, he was Not going to do what she had asked him to do.
Now, I know my children are not perfect angels. Believe me, they have plenty of faults, just like we all do. But they were never allowed to tell their parents No - as in directly defying an "order".
Young parents, I get it - you're tired, you don't want to fight that battle again, and so you let them get away with that behavior. But really, if you let them do it now, it's going to get worse. Letting them tell you No now destroys the respect relationship between a parent and a child.
Yes, I think a child needs to respect their parents. How else do they learn about authority? When a police officer pulls them over and asks them to get out of the car, do you think it will go well with them if they tell the police officer No? Or think about their teacher in school. The teacher asks them to read a section, the child says No (either out loud or to himself) and the results might not be so good.
Now I'm not saying a child can never ever say no. Obviously if an adult is asking a child to do something illegal, immoral, or against their beliefs, of course the child should not. I hope you know I'm talking about the basics here. A parent's job is to raise a child, which includes a lot of ordering around - in the nicest sense possible.
And while I'm at it ... also on my Rules of Parenting - please, don't count to 3 to get your child to do something you've told/asked them to do. I read a terrific book back in the day when I was in the middle of diapers and two-year-olds, titled "Don't Make Me Count to 3" by Ginger Hubbard. I think every new parent needs to read it. Or rather, every parent! It's the job of a parent to teach obedience, and respect for authority falls in that area. If you tell your child to do something and they do not do it until you count to three, who is really in charge there? The child. They are controlling the situation by not responding until you've reached three. That's not obedience, that's not respecting you as the authority.
Okay I'm done with my little opinion piece now. Discuss amongst yourselves. I'll be back with more later.
A little child was yelling back to his mom, telling her No, he was Not going to do what she had asked him to do.
Now, I know my children are not perfect angels. Believe me, they have plenty of faults, just like we all do. But they were never allowed to tell their parents No - as in directly defying an "order".
Young parents, I get it - you're tired, you don't want to fight that battle again, and so you let them get away with that behavior. But really, if you let them do it now, it's going to get worse. Letting them tell you No now destroys the respect relationship between a parent and a child.
Yes, I think a child needs to respect their parents. How else do they learn about authority? When a police officer pulls them over and asks them to get out of the car, do you think it will go well with them if they tell the police officer No? Or think about their teacher in school. The teacher asks them to read a section, the child says No (either out loud or to himself) and the results might not be so good.
Now I'm not saying a child can never ever say no. Obviously if an adult is asking a child to do something illegal, immoral, or against their beliefs, of course the child should not. I hope you know I'm talking about the basics here. A parent's job is to raise a child, which includes a lot of ordering around - in the nicest sense possible.
And while I'm at it ... also on my Rules of Parenting - please, don't count to 3 to get your child to do something you've told/asked them to do. I read a terrific book back in the day when I was in the middle of diapers and two-year-olds, titled "Don't Make Me Count to 3" by Ginger Hubbard. I think every new parent needs to read it. Or rather, every parent! It's the job of a parent to teach obedience, and respect for authority falls in that area. If you tell your child to do something and they do not do it until you count to three, who is really in charge there? The child. They are controlling the situation by not responding until you've reached three. That's not obedience, that's not respecting you as the authority.
Okay I'm done with my little opinion piece now. Discuss amongst yourselves. I'll be back with more later.
Comments
Post a Comment